Eva Martins of Global Women Leadership Academy On How To Successfully Navigate Work, Love and Life As A Powerful Woman

As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Eva Martins.

Eva is the founder of the Global Women Leadership Academy, a number 1 international and best-selling author, international speaker, executive leader in Fortune 500 Company, and a business owner with a mission to empower women to skyrocket their lives.

She started her career in a male-dominated corporate industry where she soon grasped that if you do not have power, you go nowhere. Her mission is to drive gender equality at all levels of society and encouraging women to raise their voices and goals, that’s why her Leadership Academy to empower women was created.

I was born in Paris, in a feministic country where women are encouraged to be strong, vocal, and independent in a family where the mother was the leader, the strong voice. I learned that this was how to be the authority. I copied a model that equated “successful” — strong force, having clear objectives, and going for it no matter the cost. It became a survival need to fit in.

Can you tell us the story about what led you to this particular career path?

I started my career in a male-dominated corporate industry where you soon understand that if you do not have power, you go nowhere. And how did you get power? Your ideas had to be heard. But the few women in my office and I experienced that if you do not have a strong voice, you are not heard. That is if you do not adopt a more masculine attitude you were blocked from excelling.

If we showed our passion and feminine drive, we were seen as too emotional. So, we numbed ourselves, rejected our intuition and sensitive side, and allowed our masculine energy and assertiveness to take over. But without balance, most of the time it was too much. So, we were seen as being highly demanding and extremely competitive, even towards each other. Does any of this sound familiar?

It took me more than 10 years of operating in many different leading roles to realize what was happening. I had a successful career, but I was sacrificing myself, disconnecting from who I was, and actually limiting my full potential.

I will never forget the day I woke up and felt that I had no more feelings. There was no feeling of connection anymore. I was doing more and more every day and it was never enough. Everything was a struggle.

Doing my best at work and feeling exhausted, coming back home to pick up the kids, play with them, bathing them, preparing the dinner, reading stories to allow them to fall asleep, and feeling more and more alone and sad inside of myself…not being able to express it, not feeling understood, not feeling heard either…and all of this with constant arguments that it was not enough, having to be a beautiful, smiley wife and always ready for him… I was there for everyone… except for myself.

My light was slowly vanishing. The universe pushed me so hard that I had to wake up…or extinguish my soul.

I started a new journey of conscious self-discovery, uncovering mind programs, patterns, and beliefs that were limiting instead of empowering me. I began to understand the misconceptions of the feminine and masculine powers.

Living and embodying our feminine self-identity, with all its beauty and sensitivity, is much more powerful and fulfilling than always being in our masculine. In our feminine, we can still be this strong force of nature, taking action and moving forward.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

It was a rocky path with some stones in the way with ups and downs. It took me a few years to really understand that the denying of my core qualities, the things that make me come alive and ignite my soul, were my feminine aspects that were crying out to be seen, heard, and valued.

I tapped into my ability to nurture others as well as myself, my kindness, my passion, my laughter, my humor, my creativity, my intuition, my sensitivity, my positive expression, and indeed, my femininity itself. I also tapped into my physical expression of my feminine power. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your feminine physically. It is super powerful to own yourself.

Most importantly, I was rejecting my feminine power as a way to reject my true creative and intelligent power. This life force is what guides us towards what we are meant to achieve in life — our life — our purpose.

The more I was trying to be perfect the less I was, and the more I was harshly criticizing myself. Have you ever experienced this?

I did see how my masculine energy served me, however. It was the fuel for my growth. Being challenge-driven, like many women, I was pushing myself to grow every day, attracting more and more challenges as a way to prove myself. But I was being less and less kind with myself as I lived more in my masculine energy.

Until one day, I could not recognize myself. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I was numb, going through life for others…not for myself.

I was tired of proving myself. Tired of doing instead of being. Tired of giving and ending up feeling empty.

As I made a few attempts to retrain my brain, I understood that there was nothing to prove. Perfection was just a myth. It was all BS! In this new consciousness, I had to change many things. But other things changed organically — friends, divorce, environment, work.

Ultimately, I had an inner awareness and consciousness of what is important to me, and what drives real fulfilment and joy.

My new mantra became:

Life is too short to be boring,

Life is too short to be serious,

Joy and laughter enhance my power,

By loving myself I become a magnet for others,

By respecting myself others respect me…

Life happens for me and not to me!

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

My three main drivers were my passion, the risk-taker inside of me, and finally, the clarity of the goals I wanted to achieve. It all starts with having clear goals and dreams to create the inner drive, the courage, the ambition to overcome challenges and overcome inner fears such as the fear of others’ judgement, failure, visibility, and even success.

My inner passion is to serve a higher purpose — serving others supported me in the darkest moments when the roadblocks were bigger than my inner fuel, so I just remembered my reason why and just moved forward. We will never feel certain of our destiny but taking action creates motion, control over our life. The quality of our life is the amount of uncertainty we can cope with.

Last, the risk-taker inside of me allowed me to move forward independently of my fears. I love a good challenge and the feeling that I am growing every day. I fully embraced it when I realized that any way we can course-correct constantly, any decision taken today is never forever, but only the next decision!

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. The premise of this series assumes that our society still feels uncomfortable with strong women. Why do you think this is so?

Unfortunately, it is still true today. Society, the corporate and entrepreneurship world, is still driven mostly by men. Women make, on average, 80 cents on the dollar compared to men. We are still expected to be the perfect woman, perfect mum, perfect career female, perfect wife….Despite all efforts to encourage gender diversity and balance we still observe biased attitudes. I have heard myself few comments while growing the hierarchy ladder: “you should not dress too feminine”, “you should not be too emotional”, “you have 2 kids you should take care of them at home and have an easy job”, “you are too driven”, “you know what you want for a women”…luckily all of those comments and attitudes did not stop me. It instilled a fire inside of me to break those, to go against them, and prove that a strong woman can be successful without having to act like a man.

To be successful women are expected to think, act and behave like a man, work long hours, sacrifice themselves, not be too emotional, dress like a man…even though all companies are starting to realize the power of diversity, we are still asked to operate and thrive in a society that has a patriarchal foundation where women feel the need to entitle themselves as “female leader”, female entrepreneur”, “female CEO”…I can’t wait to live in a world where we do not even need to think about it and count the number of female leaders.

Without saying any names, can you share a story from your own experience that illustrates this idea?

I have so many stories, from managers telling me that I should hide in the company, have an easy job as I was divorcing with two kids to raise, or being told that I was too ambitious as a woman, or that a woman should not be that career-driven, instilling in me a feeling of guilt. It did not stop me. I have two daughters and I want them to follow their dreams independently of what others think about them, I want them to know that it is ok to be a woman and have dreams. It is ok to have a voice and use it. It is ok to be a leader and break the norm…

It happens at all levels of society, not only in the corporate world, or in entrepreneurship. It does also happen at home when a husband suddenly feels uncomfortable because you earn more than them, or even believing that all the money you earn is theirs simply because he is the man at home. Or even friends not understanding that you want to divorce because you feel bullied every day…Most of the time it is not about the messages we hear but the attitudes, the unspoken messages, the way they feel understood and acknowledged or not…

What should a powerful woman do in a context where she feels that people are uneasy around her?

First and above all, remind yourself that all relationships in your life reflect some aspects of you and if you feel triggered it is because some part of you needs attention. For example, if you feel constantly triggered emotionally by people judging you or criticizing you, then ask yourself in which ways are you judging yourself? It might be because a little voice inside of you constantly believes that you might not be good enough…

Those inner voices serve us in a way as they will push you to be at your best at all times, or you will prove yourself through challenges that will ensure you are growing and moving forward in your life.

I have a gift for you! Whenever you feel triggered just ask yourself: where am I doing the same in my life? As it is never about others but ourselves.

Powerful or not a woman should remind herself of all her qualities and values, her worth. It may be challenging to stand up for yourself or do what you think is best for you because you keep on putting others first. However, my special suggestion for you is to put “yourself” first and do what is best for “you”. Know your worth.

What do we need to do as a society to change the unease around powerful women?

Nowadays, it does not make sense that women still need to fight to be heard. We should give them a voice, a choice, and not decide for them. Give them the freedom to choose the life they want to live without having a fear of being judged just because she follows their dreams. I am still frustrated when you need to open a bank account as a couple, and it comes automatically under your husband’s name or when you go for an interview. People ask you,” do you still want to have kids” or “are you sure you want this role? It is quite demanding for a mum”….where is the dad? doesn’t he have the same responsibility?

It starts from education at an early age, raising the awareness and consciousness of our kids, showing them the beauty of complementarity and diversity, raising them from a place of strength instead of fear and judgement.

In my own experience, I have observed that often women have to endure ridiculous or uncomfortable situations to achieve success that men don’t have to endure. Do you have a story like this from your own experience? Can you share it with us?

I will never forget when I started my corporate career. I was full of dreams, full of drive to save the world. I started in the Pharmaceutical world in the marketing department, and only six months after starting my position, my manager started to have weird attitudes insinuations. I always pretended that I did not understand until one day, he pushed me against the wall and tried to touch me…I was so angry that I kicked him badly ( I guess he might still remember me…). I was raised by an independent woman who taught me how to be solid and willed and respect myself. Going through this experience was quite traumatic. The worst was when I complained to the general manager and was told that it may be my chance to grow in the organization. That day I resigned and complained to the company’s CEO to raise awareness of those behaviors.

This was an extreme situation. I also experienced other episodes that are far less easy to fight against because they are part of the norm, such as when you become pregnant, and they change your responsibilities just because you need to ret. Who decides so? Unfortunately, not me. I always worked hard, yet I always felt it was not enough compared to my male peers who would go and have beers with their managers. One day, someone told me that while I was going home to take care of my kids, they took care of their career progression after work.

In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by women leaders that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?

.By nature, women leaders never feel good enough for the next promotion in their career while men jump on the new role and figure it out afterward. Women are far too demanding, seeking perfection instead of celebrating their efforts and achievements. They thrive in an environment where they feel safe to speak and be themselves and feel acknowledged without overperforming like a man.

When they grow in their careers, they are expected to act like men, be emotionless, be decisive, action-driven, and work endless hours. However, I believe that fostering an environment that allows them to be sensitive, intuitive, action-driven, innovative, flexible, independent, different, and strategic is the best for them to thrive.

Let’s now shift our discussion to a slightly different direction. This is a question that nearly everyone with a job has to contend with. Was it difficult to fit your personal and family life into your business and career? For the benefit of our readers, can you articulate precisely what the struggle was?

I have experienced two realities in my life. One where I had to take care of everything, ensure I would have a babysitter in case I would be late or would need to travel, have a cleaning lady to be sure my house would survive…and have my parents always on alert in case I would need them. I could not count on anybody else, so I had to surround myself with people I could trust, and yes, I often came back home late, and the kids were still waiting for me for dinner, which made me feel so guilty, and most of the time, having to work again after dinner.

It is not accessible to the jungle between being a career woman driven by a passion for serving a higher cause, being a mum, friend, wife, and being there for herself…something needs to give up. I ended up exhausted and wondering why so much effort when I was not even acknowledged for it but just criticized that it was never enough.

On the other hand, I now live a completely different experience with my new husband. I know I can always count on him. I am valued for being a strong woman, for my dreams, passions, and for taking action. When my guilt shows up for not being present at home for some reason or working too much, I remind myself of the example I am giving my kids…do I want them to follow their dreams, or do I want them to follow the example of self-sacrifice.

What was a tipping point that helped you achieve a greater balance or greater equilibrium between your work life and personal life? What did you do to reach this equilibrium?

Everything changed for me when I lost a baby and never felt alone. I questioned my life, wondered why I was feeling so lost and not connected to anybody around me, why I was trying to be that perfect, why I was never feeling good enough in any area of my life. I stopped, worked on my mindset, and slowly started to realize that I needed to make big decisions, that I needed to value myself, respect myself, and not wait for the external environment to do it for me. I divorced, moved countries, and most importantly, released the need to be perfect but enjoy the journey and do my best every day. I do not believe in failure anymore, but just in constant learning, growth and that’s the best example I can give to my kids, husband, friends, peers, students, and colleagues.

I work in the beauty tech industry, so I am very interested to hear your philosophy or perspective about beauty. In your role as a powerful woman and leader, how much of an emphasis do you place on your appearance? Do you see beauty as something that is superficial, or is it something that has inherent value for a leader in a public context? Can you explain what you mean?

Beauty was a threat for me for many years, mainly because I started my career in a male-driven industry, where they wanted to go for lunch or dinner with me but not listen to what I had to say. I had to raise my voice, be decision-driven like a man and be emotionless to succeed. All are non-necessary. It took many years to rise above this. As I was working on myself, strengthening my self-confidence and self-esteem, I started to have fun with this and own my feminine side, my inner and outer beauty. I believe it is an asset, part of personal marketing personal branding. 70% of our communication is through our presence, so today, I use it consciously as a way to convey a message. I show up with confidence to empower other women to do the same. I own it and even have fun with it. I believe our beauty is intrinsically connected with our self-confidence and self-esteem.

How is this similar or different for men?

I am not sure it is that different. Nowadays, I feel the pressure is high on men, having to thrive, being successful at all times, not allowing them to rest, and not being emotional and sensitive. More and more men are self-conscious today. The fact that we are raising women’s voices makes them feel threatened in their power and status, and nothing scarier for a man to lose their hierarchy in society. Their self-esteem is strongly connected to their position in society. I dream of a world where we do not need to be black or white, do not need to be entitled as female or male, and have our uniqueness and feel celebrated for it.

Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your opinion and experience, what are the “Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Powerful Woman?” (Please share a story or example for each.)

1. Know who you are underneath any label, without having to be a mum, a wife, a career lady, a sister, a daughter. Unknowing who you are will clarify your natural gifts, which I call superpowers.
2. Own your superpowers and beam them freely around you. You are a spark, and the world needs you. By believing that you are not enough, you play small and betray yourself, betraying your potential as I did for many years. Nobody deserves that. We have to show up every day and play full out.
3. Celebrate yourself even when others judge you. Remember that whenever you are criticized, you trigger something that needs to be up-level in them, not in you. They blame a part of themselves, and you are just a vehicle raising their consciousness level.
4. Have clarity! Know which are your dreams, your goals. Life is too short to be wasted. The only currency we will never get back in time, so decide today how to make the most of your life and leave a legacy for your kids, friends, husband, peers, colleagues, and family.
5. Have fun and celebrate You and Life! Life is too short to be too severe and melodramatic! Remember, there are no failures, only growth. The quality of your life is the level of uncertainty you can cope with, so have fun every day and take action towards your dreams!

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.

I would love to have a private lunch with Sara Blakely. She is an example for many women. She followed her dreams in an inspiring way for all of us.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

This article was originally published on Authority Magazine by Ming S. Zhao. Read more from Authority Magazine.

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How do you bring your “A game” day in and day out – even when things get tough?  What advice do you have for those looking for motivation in their careers?

Tell us your thoughts on those questions - and on this interview as a whole – in the comments below!