Five Life and Leadership Lessons I Learned In The Military

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?

I grew up in Bel Air, Maryland, and started playing the trumpet in fourth grade. My parents met in their high school band but were not professional musicians. They were however always very supportive of my siblings and I when it came to our musical pursuits. My father was a hobbyist and a collector of things, including LPs and instruments. One day I found a trumpet in the attic and a handful of Herb Alpert records, and as they say, the rest is history. I attended Towson University for two years before transferring to the University of Maryland for a degree in music performance. I then attended a music conservatory in Los Angeles called the Colburn School, followed by two and a half years performing as a member of the New World Symphony in Miami Beach. Though the allure of living in perfectly sunny weather with a beach right outside your front door was tempting, I decided to audition for the Navy Band in Washington D.C., and move back home.

And what are you doing today? Can you share a story that exemplifies the unique work that you are doing?

Just recently, I had the honor of performing Taps at Arlington National Cemetery as we laid to rest four Navy Sailors. Taps is a simple 24-note melody that is played on a trumpet or bugle. As a trumpet player in the Navy, we assume the duty of performing Taps at funerals and other solemn occasions. It is one of the most reverent acts one can perform on an instrument. In addition to ceremonies, I am a member of our Concert Band, the premier wind ensemble of the U.S. Navy. The Concert Band performs dozens of concerts every summer at the Capitol and downtown D.C., educational outreach concerts in the local school systems and an annual national tour in early spring.

Can you tell us a bit about your military background?

Since joining in 2012, my primary duty has been a trumpet instrumentalist. I was hired for the expertise and technical acumen I already had, but to stay at the top of the profession requires constant care and maintenance (practice). Unlike other musical groups in the civilian sector, such as professional orchestras, the U.S. Navy Band is self-run. In addition to our playing duties, members also take on operational responsibilities, marketing and advertisement roles, as well as crew and librarian jobs, just to name a few.

Can you share the most interesting story that you experienced during your military career? What “take away” did you learn from that story?

Early on in my career, I played a concert at the Inner Harbor in downtown Baltimore. My parents attended, and afterwards we went to one of our favorite pizza restaurants. I was still in uniform and unbeknownst to me, another customer had decided to pay for my table’s bill ahead of time. I kept the receipt and still have it in my trumpet case. This random act of kindness is not unique to me, as our country is very proud to support its military personnel, but I’m always very surprised and humbled when it happens. My job is to remember what I represent in and out of uniform, and to always hold myself to the highest possible standards.

We are interested in fleshing out what a hero is. Did you experience or hear about a story of heroism, during your military experience? Can you share that story with us? Feel free to be as elaborate as you’d like.

In 2018, Capt. Thomas Hudner was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery and the Navy Band participated in his funeral. Often, we do not receive much information about the veterans we bury, because of the high volume of funerals we support every year (more than 900). At this specific funeral, I noticed a few gentlemen in attendance wearing the Medal of Honor. Capt. Hudner turned out to also be a Medal of Honor recipient for his actions during the Korean War. Hudner’s wingman, Ens. Jesse Brown, had been shot down and crashed into a snowbank behind enemy lines. Hudner, after attempting to rescue Brown via radio instruction, decided to crash land his aircraft near him. Soon after, a rescue helicopter pilot landed, and both he and the pilot tried to save Brown from a now burning airplane. After attempting to free him for over an hour, to no avail, the helicopter was forced to leave because it could not fly in darkness. Sadly, Brown died shortly thereafter from his injuries and cold exposure.

Based on that story, how would you define what a “hero” is? Can you explain?

A hero is someone who has the courage to do the hard thing, despite their fears. It is hard to say what exactly was going through Capt. Hudner’s mind when he chose to crash land his plane. Certainly, he acted selflessly, but as he himself mentioned later in his life, “about 90” people told him he also acted recklessly. What we do know is that he made a decision to attempt to save someone’s life while putting his own in danger, and that is a special kind of hero in my book.

Does a person need to be facing a life and death situation to do something heroic or to be called a hero?

Heroes bring about positive change. This can range from literally saving someone’s life to a small act of kindness. I believe everyone has a gift to share with humanity, and every skill someone possesses has the ability to help the world.

Based on your military experience, can you share with our readers 5 Leadership or Life Lessons that you learned from your experience”? (Please share a story or example for each.)

1. Own your mistakes. Mistakes are a part of life. They are opportunities for us to improve. They show to others that you are self-aware. And most importantly as a leader, when you do this, it can strengthen relationships.
2. Know your leadership style. I’m a soft-spoken person and have felt pressure to change my natural style. I remind myself that if what I have to say is important, than it should be heard. I don’t need to be loud, but I do need to have a presence.
3. Have courage. Doing the right thing is hard. I think it is like a muscle though; the more you are able to exercise it, the stronger it will become.
4. Be a well-rounded listener (active and passive). Leaders must learn to read a room and engage with people in ways that are most effective. At times people on your team will just need to talk and you will just need to listen. Other times, people will need your input and advice. Be sensitive and aware, and you will gain people’s trust.
5. Trust the people you work with. When you trust one another and invest in one another, there’s no limit to what the team can accomplish.

Do you think your experience in the military helped prepare you for business? Can you explain?

Serving in the Navy has led to me dipping my toes into many different pools. Since the Navy Band is a self-run machine, it is up to the members to diversify their skill sets and branch out into new territories. For me personally, I now have experience as an IT tech, a librarian, truck driver and fitness leader.

As you know, some people are scarred for life by their experience in the military. Did you struggle after your deployment was over? What have you done to adjust and thrive in civilian life that others may want to emulate?

Even though I am still an active-duty Sailor, life after the military is always on my mind. Transitioning from a regimented type of job where you follow orders, to a life where you make your own choices and have a sense of “freedom” can be quite scary to think about. Jocko Willink, a former Navy Seal, wrote a book called “Discipline Equals Freedom.” In it he states, “The only way to get to a place of freedom is through discipline. In order to have and do the things you want, you must find a way within yourself to act on the required tasks.” It may seem counterintuitive but giving yourself that structure will give you back more time and mental bandwidth.

I also firmly believe in trying to establish a strong network of supporters, whether that’s family, friends, colleagues, church parishioners, etc. Of course, if anyone is experiencing real trauma, professional help should be sought. Seeking help is an act of courage.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I recently took on the role of national tour manager for the U.S. Navy’s Concert Band. Every year, each of our performing ensembles tour different parts of the country and we get to share our music with a wide variety of audience members. It’s a great way to connect a community with their Navy and honor the men and women who have served this great country.

What advice would you give to other leaders to help their team to thrive?

Remember it’s okay to ask for help. Just because you are now in a position of leadership doesn’t necessarily mean you have all the right answers.

What advice would you give to other leaders about the best way to manage a large team?

Establish a chain of command, then make sure you use it and you can trust it. This isn’t just about you, the leader, not having to deal with every issue. It also gives everyone in the chain a sense of ownership and responsibility towards the mission.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

My parents never stopped encouraging me. I spent many hours practicing, but they spent just as many hours taking me to lessons, auditions and concerts. They are my biggest fans. My wife, Hyojin, really pushed me over the edge (in a good way!) in preparing for the Navy Band audition. As a pianist, she knows the discipline it takes to really master a piece of music. I always joke that training for the Navy Band audition with her was much harder than actual boot camp.

How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?

As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow stated, “Music is the universal language of mankind.” Throughout the world, people tend to have an innate sense of pitch and rhythm; they feel the power of music. Whenever and wherever I perform, I am reminded of how lucky I am to share this with an audience.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

Beach volleyball champion Gabrielle Reece uses the phrase “Going first in life” as an easy mind shift hack. This could be anything from smiling, saying hello, introducing yourself or giving a compliment. The secret is to just “go first.” Often times we are so wrapped up in our own minds, and this is an easy way to acknowledge and appreciate others, as well as conquer some of our own fears, like shyness.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“KISS: Keep it simple, stupid.” I’m a big fan of the American version of The Office, and I first heard this phrase used by the character Dwight Shrute. I soon came to find out that this was a design principle used by the U.S. Navy in 1960, and it makes complete sense. Communication is fundamental whether you’re leading hundreds of people or just a few, and the easiest way to get everyone on the same page is to not over-complicate your message.

Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them :-)

Wynton Marsalis. He has been a role model of mine for many years and I have gotten to see him perform over a dozen times. Every time I leave more inspired (and humbled). He is a person of extreme generosity, and takes great care in every note he plays and every word he speaks.

Thank you so much for these amazing insights. This was truly uplifting.

This article was originally published on Authority Magazine. Read more from Authority Magazine.

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How do you define heroes and who have been some heroes to you throughout your career? What parallels can you draw between the military lifestyle and success in business?

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